


Signed Up

by CastawayProxy



Category: Destroy All Humans! (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:07:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22858246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastawayProxy/pseuds/CastawayProxy
Summary: Even by Furon standards 11 years old Crypto is everything but a model child. When he manages to get kicked out of the academy, his last chance to redeem himself is to gather field experience by working as an apprentice. Orthopox - the Commander he gets assigned to - however is not happy about having a child aboard, and the reasons for this foreshadow a dark future for furonkind.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Highly Illogical!

**Author's Note:**

> _Please note that I do not own anything from the 'Destroy all Humans!' franchise. Crypto, Pox, Gastro, the Furon species and their tech belong to Pandemic & THQ.  
> Isospora, Shigellosis and the Commanders were created by me, but if you feel like using them in your own DAH projects, feel free to do so, I'm really easy-going with these things. This little fic is just for fun and personal entertainment and has no commercial purpose._
> 
> _Additionally: If you have any feedback, feel like leaving critique (positive and negative will be equally welcome and appreciated.) that's cool! But PLEASE don't do it via DM somewhere, but here, on the page where I published the story; within the safety of a public comment section. If you feel like contacting me personally, that's cool too. Check the Linktr.ee link on my profile, there you'll find your path to my Discord. Just leave the discussion about my creative works on their intended platforms._

**S** itting on one of the tables instead of the seats around, the slender boy in the red recruit jumpsuit casually let his legs swing fourth and back while eagerly emptying the last of the little snack bags he had tricked out of the vending machine next to him. Truth was, he wasn't even particularly hungry, but the food was available, it was somewhat tasty, and if he – as he suspected – was to be kicked out today, he'd be doing good to enjoy something actually stuffing before being sent back...

As the automatic doors hissed open, he looked up again, instinctively narrowing his eyes and sparing the man who entered the room a cocky look. The boy had only ever briefly interacted with the tall man, but he knew that he was some sort of high-ranking bloke on the campus. Unlike the boy himself, or basically most other Furons around here, he was not wearing any sort of uniform or utility suit, but silver-y civilian attire instead, a glowing HUD covering one of his eyes as well as a set of reflective cranial augmentations that resembled a crown or horns of some sort.

Tilting his head the boy shoved the last bits of food into his mouth, while the other looked down and gave him a casual, hailing nod, before pressing some buttons on a wrist-mounted little computer and skimming through some notes.

The little boy was skinny and too small for his age, with his jumpsuit being all dirty and his face covered in bruises and scars. He obviously took the term 'combat training' the wrong; the _literal_ way...

"You're... Recruit _Cryptosporidium 3_ , correct? I'm _Isospora 85_ , nice meet you." He spoke calmly while closing the document and focusing the boy again.

"Looks like it…" The child replied in a sarcastic, almost even challenging manner. "...So what? You're going to _promote_ me now?!"

The older man silently sighed and narrowed his eyes. "Hardly, Cryptosporidium. After your recent... _Actions..._ You can call yourself lucky that you were _just_ expelled... Fortunately for you Tutor Poliomyelitis thinks legal actions are unnecessary... But she made it clear that the condition is to have you _leave_ …"

Crypto shrugged and looked at the empty snack bag in his hands. "...So what? It's me leaving the academy or me being deleted from the cloning banks? Effing crap... Go ahead and delete me already... _Hell if I care…_ "

Isospora paused for a moment and just looked at Crypto. Poliomyelitis had not been exaggerating when mentioning Crypto's lack of care, manners and basically any essential bit of social skills... Exhaling thoughtfully he eventually took a seat next to the table Crypto sat on and stretched his legs. "So... You _want_ to be deleted? Sounds like a waste to me considering your… ' _Resourcefulness'_."

"That's not what I said. I said I don't _care._.. Keep me here or delete me... But I'm _not_ going back…"

Tilting his head Isospora once again cautiously examined Crypto. "By _going back_ , you mean, your original family? You would rather be deleted and spend your last remaining incarnation _here_ than seeing them again? Is this what you trying to tell me?"

Crypto remained quiet, still staring at the empty bag and trying his best to ignore the annoying old man to his left.

Iso however did not seem to mind Crypto's silence. For a second, he was even certain to sense sadness in the boy. That was, until little Crypto suddenly let his angry attitude take over again. Crumbling up the empty bag and tossing it over his shoulder, he angrily looked up at Isospora.

"Shut your stupid face, you retard! I'm here because I was classified a warrior! If you don't need me, _get rid of me_!" Crypto shouted, pushing himself into rage and deliberately re-directing the conversation topic.

With a sigh Isospora slowly rose from his chair again. "I believe you made your point, Cryptosporidium…" He folded hands behind his back, paused once more and just looked at the small recruit. He couldn't help but feel sorry for him; For someone so young and angry, who apparently had already given up. Crypto certainly brought back memories. Memories of _yet another_ 'hopeless case' that refused to fit in back in the days... "...Alright, Crypto 3... You _want_ to be a warrior... I'm giving you exactly _one_ last chance... Since the academy staff refuses to finish your training, someone else will have to. I will have to make some calls…"

As Isospora left the room, Crypto looked up again. _What had just happened here?! Did Isospora just come up with an alternative to let him stay?_ _Was this bloke in the fancy suit just helping a random little brat everyone else just wanted to get rid of?_

Crypto slowly jumped down the table, looked through the room and growled. He was certain that there was something wrong with this. No one would just willingly help _him_ without expecting anything in return, and Crypto was not sure whether he wanted to wait and find out what he was supposed to do. He was already preparing to leave; to mindlessly run away, when the adult one returned.

Isospora spotted Crypto in the corner, emptying yet another vending machine and hastily stuffing as many snack bags as possible into the pockets of his jumpsuit.

"Preparing for the grand departure, eh?" He spoke with a chuckle.

"Yeah. ... _So?_ " Crypto hissed and focused on Isosporas face again.

The older one gave him a casual shrug. "You're none of the students anymore.. _Anyone_ could have stolen that, and my memory is 'already blurry'... Anyway... Come...I have someone you might like to meet. But I warn you, Cryptosporidium, I'll be having an eye on you... Mess this up and you're going to mop floors after drunken tourists on Rilo for the rest of your time…"

With this being said, he did an inviting gesture towards Crypto to follow him. Assuming to have little to no choice - now as ' _Isostupid'_ was with him again - he just followed, still noticeably distrustful towards the older one…

He led the boy aboard a standard issue saucer type spacecraft. While it didn't look like anything special, Crypto nevertheless felt excited. Keeping it to himself at first – _he didn't want to appear childish or vulnerable after all_ – he nevertheless attentively watched and memorized what he saw. He was hoping that one day he would be lucky enough to get his hands on one of those ships too...

When the two reached the first ring's fleet yards, Crypto seemed to slowly drop his defensive attitude. He had never been up here before, but the sight was astonishing enough to make up for the previous worries. He could not remember having seen so many docked spaceships before, not to mention the brightly illuminated traffic nodes and residential areas.

For a brief moment, he even smiled, and – once he noticed from his pilot seat – Isospora did the same.


	2. Great, kid - Don't get cocky!

**W** hen both of them left the saucer, Crypto found himself in, what he only could assume to be the hangar of a mothership. He had always been hoping to see one of those one day, maybe even work aboard one – Despite every single tutor telling him that this was never going to happen... But... _Here he was..._

Quietly following Isospora, the boy curiously looked around, occasionally touched something, but eventually had to force himself to keep up and not get lost. After some minutes they reached, what looked like some sort of laboratory room to Crypto. The place was covered in dim purple light and almost even seemed as it it was designed to be relaxing.

Isospora slowly led Crypto towards a figure sitting behind a desk. While the stranger obviously _must_ have heard both of them entering the room, he did neither look up nor greet them, but instead sedulously worked on a small jetpack. Crypto curiously watched the stranger tinker with it for a while, until he eventually examined the man himself.

He was not really looking too impressive to Crypto: _Yet another adult ignoring his presence..._ From what he could see, he must have been relatively small and slender just like himself, and – with the exception of his amazingly large head – everything about him looked fragile to Crypto. Just like Isospora, he had spikey – although slightly different in shape - devices attached to his cranium, as well as two flexible links attached to the sides of his head which connected him to the hovering chair he sat in.

"Now _that's_ one huge head!" Crypto exclaimed with a smug grin.

The stranger looked up from his work and frowned at Crypto, yet did not reply. Instead it was Isospora who spoke up, addressing the other man in a strict tone. "Remember your _manners_ , Orthopox…"

"... _Ugh_ …" Was the only response the other managed to force out while still trying to ignore the presence of Iso and his annoying little child companion. He did not enjoy _any of this_ at all, and while Iso's orders had been clear, it did not mean that he had to _like_ them. And he made sure to vividly demonstrate his dissatisfaction with the situation as it was... _The last thing he needed was an a renegade reject jeopardizing each and any of his missions..._

Crypto couldn't help it but chuckle. He understood _exactly_ what the other one was trying here, and found it amusing that – just once – it was not _him_ to act disrespectful and get on other people's nerves with it...

"I warn you…" Isospora spoke up again and looked at his colleague. "...You have your orders, do _not_ try your luck with me."

Eventually Orthopox dropped his work material and focused on Iso and Crypto. " _There..._ Happy now?! What do you expect me to do with your misbehaving child? _Ground him?!_ We're about to prepare for departure; the fleet is heading for Tharsis Mons tonight. I already told you I hardly have the time to supervise a _child_ …"

Iso sighed and casually signaled the – still amused – Crypto to let the two of them talk alone for a moment. A 'suggestion' Crypto followed – as slowly as possible to not miss any of this...

"...He's supposed to be a warrior. You're... _Supposed to_... Run a warship. Simple enough for you, junior? Or do I have to remind you of how the apprentice program actually works?"

Orthopox shuddered. He _despised_ Iso talking to him like this as soon as he did not immediately follow... Even after all those years and both having reached respectable ranks within Furon society, Iso still treated him him like a teenager... "...Does crude your enjoyment for humiliating me never seize?"

"Apparently not…" Iso replied in a half joking manner and gently put a hand onto Orthopox's shoulder. "Look, I don't want to be the first principal who has to delete a child from the cloning banks due to insubordination. Not gonna lie. He's an aggressive little pest with a knack for blowing up fellow students... But I believe that if there's anyone who can get him to listen and make a productive non-criminal out of him, it's _you_ … You know… _Similar minds_ and all…"

Listening to Iso, Orthopox's anger seemed to vanish a little. While he was still unhappy with the situation, he seemingly began to understand… With a sigh he eventually slowly nodded. "Alright... I will have an eye on your little reject. But... Don't expect me to _like_ it... I'm not a jolly uncle of some sort... I don't even _like_ children…" He lied, then slowly left his desk and approached the two.

Iso seemed satisfied for now, as he gave Pox an approving nod. "All I expect you to provide is good work. I _know_ you're capable if you want to…" He then hunkered down to Crypto. "Pox is a good guy. One of my favourite rebels. With a bit effort you can become one of _his_. Just… _Try not to kill him please…_ " Getting back onto his feet, he then – once more – looked at Pox. "I'll expect regular updates on his progress. Don't be _too cruel_ on him – You'll be good for one another…"

With that being said, and a last nod, Isospora eventually turned around and slowly left the room to return to his saucer.

Pox sighed and absent-mindedly nodded, although Iso was already gone. Eventually looking at Crypto again, he then leaned a little forward. "...What is your name?" He asked in a cool tone and examined the boy.

"Crypto."

"...Crypto _What_?"

"Crypto...Sporidium...Three?" He hesitantly answered with a shrug.

Orthopox gave him a (negatively) surprised look. " _Three?!_ You got yourself killed two times already?! How old are you even? Five? _Six_?!"

"I'm _eleven_ , and you don't look fresh either!" Crypto hissed in annoyance.

Narrowing his eyes, Orthopox slowly shook his head. "You certainly lack a brain to mouth filter. We need to fix that... Together with... _Everything else_ I suppose…"

Crypto – once again – just shrugged. "Good luck trying. According to _everyone_ I'm beyond fixing. You might as well just get your dose of disappointment and then kick me off your ship before it's too late…"

Pox remained silent for a second, processing Crypto's reply and trying to understand his fatalistic mindset... Eventually he reached out for the boy's wrist and hesitantly grabbed it to make him tag along. "...Unqualified nonsense. _Nothing_ is beyond fixing! If that's the codswallop you kids learn at the academy nowadays, I'm not surprised Iso brought you here... Now get moving, As you already so _lucidly_ pointed out, I'm not getting any younger."

* * *

When they reached what Crypto assumed to be a medical lab, Pox eventually let go of the boy's wrist and instead used his psychokinetic abilities to lift him up onto one of the beds while eagerly searching for something. Once he had found what he wanted, he turned around again, approached, and then directly faced Crypto. "Close your eyes and hold still." He just spoke, then held Cryptos head still with one hand, while using a tissue regenerator on his face with the other. Slowly his scars and bruises began to heal and eventually completely vanished.

Once the boy realized this, he curiously touched his cheeks and seemed almost even amused.

Noticing this, Pox leaned towards Crypto. "Don't let my equipment be an open invitation to get yourself into any danger, do you copy?!"

Crypto hesitantly nodded while Pox hovered around and checked the markings on the collar of Crypto's jumpsuit. "Huh... A size twelve... I'll replicate you a set of clean clothing... How can you even walk around all dirty like this? What are you? A _savage_? A _homeless_?..."

Crypto raised one of his (nonexistent) eyebrows and noticeably suppressed a chuckle.. "Well, I got kicked out of the academy, so _technically_ …"

"...Technically you're part of _my_ crew now, so you're expected to behave as such!" Pox immediately interjected. "...That includes you following basic security-, hygiene-, and behavioural standards, capiche?"

Crypto gave Pox a mostly unimpressed look, but eventually squeezed out a flap "Yes…"

Pox reacted with a grumpy look, but did not say anything. Instead he hovered over to a replicator device and produced three fresh jumpsuits for Crypto. When he was finally done, he returned to Crypto, and placed the clothes on a table next to him. "These ones are for you. Over there is a shower. You... _Do_ know how to use a shower, do you?"

Tilting his head Crypto was close to openly making fun of Pox... "Of course I do... I'm not retarded…"

With a nod Pox helped Crypto down again and pointed at the shower. "Then keep proving so. Clean yourself, and don't waste any time. I'll be back to pick you up in ten minutes."

"...Whatever…" Crypto indifferently replied and began to pull the snack bags out of the pockets of his old jumpsuit.

Staring at the snack bags Pox just shook his head. "What is _this_ , and why are you carrying it around with you?"

"...It's snacks, moron…"

Inhaling deeply to stop himself from raising his voice, Pox just whispered. " _Don't_ call me that…" Then took one of the snack bags and examined it. "...I can see that these are snack bags, but _why_ do you carry them around with you?"

Crypto just shook his head, almost as if he was questioning Pox's sanity... "To _eat_ of course!"

Taking the bag out of Crypto's hand Pox gave the boy a serious face. "On my ship you're not feeding off this garbage. These snacks have _zero_ nutritional value. No wonder you're a walking little stick, Cryptosporidium... I'll have Gastro get you some real food when you're done here. Now hurry up, we're already behind schedule!" With that, Pox took the remaining snack bags, then turned around and left Crypto alone to have a shower.

Crypto just stood there, with his eyes angrily following Pox. _15 minutes aboard, and this squeaky voiced egghead was already bossing him around?!_ Not to mention taking away his snacks!... He felt like smashing something; yelling at Pox for being an annoyance already... But in actuality, all he did was standing next to the door and staring into the corridor. He didn't particularly like Pox, but remembered Iso's warning... He did not want to mess up again. This place here – after all - was still better than the academy, his 'home' and _especially_ better than wherever he would end up if he just ran away...

* * *

Once he was done showering and got himself into one of the clean jumpsuits he already felt a tad _less_ out of place. It wasn't really a uniform, but rather some sort of standardized blue utility suit. It was simple, but comfortable. He enjoyed it.

Walking through the room he examined the various pieces of equipment. Most were something awfully specific and thus entirely alien to him. Only ever when he saw a little terminal on a desk in the corner, he felt like he knew what to do. Steered by curiosity and the fact that he still had some minutes left until Pox would return, he took a seat and started the terminal. A noise behind him however suddenly ripped him out of his thoughts.

Startled he turned around, only to spot yet another stranger. This time a tall and brawny female in a reflective red suit with armour pieces on her chest and shoulders. Her face appeared somewhat young-ish, almost even innocent, but her overall statue also indicated that she might be able to rip off someone's head without using any PK abilities...

As she noticed Cryptos reaction she gave him a little smirk and entered the room. "Hi little guy! Didn't mean to scare ya. Orthopox sent me to pick you up."

Hesitantly Crypto nodded and slowly approached the stranger. Well... So far she at least appeared more friendly than Pox (not that this was particularly difficult), so there was that. "...Hi." He stammered cluelessly and waved at her. "...What am I even supposed to do here now? Guess Pox is not letting me run around exterminating enemies, right?"

Still smiling she shook her head, then pointed down the hallway to have him follow her. "Nah, I don't think so. You'll probably have to learn how to handle your plungers first... But I'm sure you'll learn a lot from observing. Your name's Crypto, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah. And you are?"

"Shigellosis 377, or _Shi_. Orthopox's recon specialist. Y'know... Flying the saucer, exploring strange new worlds, setting things on fire, _the usual_ …"

Crypto's eyes seemed to widen with joy, his face slowly displaying a mischievous grin. _Maybe his assignment here was about to get interesting after all..._ "Cool!" He exclaimed in a joyfully naive tone and looked up to her.

Snickering in amusement she patted his shoulder and then lead the way to the others. "So, Crypto… Heard you're here from the academy. You must be quite the high-flyer if Orthopox had you transferred here…"

Sarcastically snorting Crypto looked up to her. "I was kicked out. My principal _made him_ take me. And 'Pox' wasn't happy about it… He probably owes him something or so…"

Shi slowed down for a moment and gave Crypto a surprised look. "You mean Isospora? I remember him from _my_ time in the academy… I was never much of a popular recruit either. But Isospora never does anything without reason, and if he takes care of getting you transferred, he believes you're worth it."

Crypto absent-mindedly nodded and shoved his hands into the pockets of his new jumpsuit. "Just… What does it help if _the Commander_ doesn't want me here?"

"He will..." Shi replied encouragingly and hunkered down to Crypto. "...He's not very good at getting to know people or trusting them quickly. But if you give him some time, I promise he'll like you every bit as much as I already do." With a warm smile Shi half-jokingly booped his cheek and then got back to her feet. "...And now let's see how fast you can run. _The last one to arrive at the mess hall has to do the dishes!_ "


	3. I'm a Commander, not a ---!

**P** ox by now was sitting in the ship's mess hall (not that the tiny, spartan dark room even _deserved_ to be called by this) and looked at the empty bowl in front of him which gave off a bizarre reflection of his face.

"Stop moping, boss. That kid can't be _that_ bad…"

It took Pox a second to realize that he had been spoken to. Forcing his thoughts back into reality he looked up and spotted Gastro, who was casually leaning onto the table Pox sat at and gave his commander a bright grin.

"Oh, no... _Of course not_ …" Pox mumbled in a sarcastic tone. "...I have the feeling you'll _like_ him…"

Gastro's grin widened into a devious grimace. "Awww, not sure if flattered or insulted yet... Funny to see you like this though... After that near disaster at Zarcon-5 or the incident in the supposed Dodecalypse-dimension... Not to mention when Commander Thyro hacked your brain…"

Pox remained quiet but gave Gastro a downright deadly look...

Blissfully ignorant to it however, Gastro took a seat and kept talking. "...Never expected – of all damn things out there - a _kid_ to be the thing to throw you out of the train…"

"He does _not_ have that much influence…" Pox eventually hissed with grinding teeth and leaned back in his chair. "...I'm just _tired_ , behind my _work schedule_ and _you_ are getting on my nerves, Gastroenteritis! ...And what is even taking you so long? Shouldn't you be done preparing something... _Edible_ by now?"

Sticking out his tongue towards Pox, Gastro casually rose from his chair again and – demonstratively slowly – walked over to the cooking area. "Ooooohhhh... My apologies, _your highness_... Maybe better be nice, or I'll start spitting in your meals when you least suspect it…"

With a sigh Pox looked into his bowl again. "I'm, surrounded by insanity…"

When Shi arrived with Crypto, the boy could not help but – once again – instantly go and discover the room by himself, with the window catching his attention. Almost even squeezing his face into it, he gazed upon the shipyards outside with utter fascination.

Shi chuckled but then walked over to the others, exchanged a loving head-boop with Gastro and eventually took a seat next to Pox.

"So that's the famous little anarchist freaking out our Commander…" Gastro mused with morbid merriment.

Pox narrowed his eyes, a part of him wishing to downright strangle Gastro right now. "I. Am. Not. Freaked. Out…." He whispered in a bitter tone, before he then turned around to face Crypto. "Come. Sit down and eat something."

"Yeah…" Gastro added flippantly. "...You look like you're about to vanish alive, you little stick figure… Almost like a weird special effect..."

With a sigh Crypto did as he was told and joined the others at the table, with his eyes suddenly coming to a rest on the third crew member. He had never seen anyone like Gastro before, and the boy was not sure whether to be fascinated or creeped out by his appearance. He seemed to walk with a stoop and his limbs were unnaturally slender, yet - unlike Pox - it did not appear to be his natural built. His skin tone was a pale, unhealthy shade of yellow, and while he had an overall neutral facial expression, his glowing prosthetic eye which almost even seemed to pop out of his skull, as well as his mouth with its crooked and missing teeth made him downright look like a holo comic villain of some sorts.

"Like what you see?" Gastro spoke in a sarcastic tone. "...Well, sorry; I'm taken!"

"O-... _Kay_?" Crypto replied, obviously not getting this sort of humour (yet), while Pox gave Gastro a sharp look.

What followed was the subjectively longest, quietest meal Crypto had been part of in probably years, and he _hated_ it. The awkward silence and the feeling of his three new shipmates sitting at the table and staring at him like some sort of new pet, annoyed him to no end. Defiantly ladling his meal, he stared into his bowl. Despite refusing to show it, Pox had been right: The food aboard the mothership indeed was better than his beloved snacks. (Not to mention, better than the food at the academy's canteen - not that this was particularly difficult though…)

Wishing to continue discovering the mothership by himself as soon as possible, he sped up eating, and after two bowls, and filled to the brim, Crypto eventually got back to his feet, and was about to leave again, as he felt something holding him back - almost even as if running into an invisible wall.

"Where are you going all on your own?!" Pox inquired while not even bothering to look up from his meal.

Crypto did a grimace towards the Commander and tried to free himself from the psychokinetic grip. "Exploring."

"Do you really think we let you wander around all by yourself?" Pox asked in a sarcastic tone, by now having finished his own bowl as well. While he _did_ have a point about not letting a child wander around on a spaceship full of dangerous equipment and machinery, he did not bother to explain himself to Crypto. Instead he turned around and watched him trying to get out of the PK-grip.

"Let… Go… Of me!" Crypto hissed angrily, struggling in the manner of someone trying to escape quicksand.

"Only if you behave." Was Pox's quick and choppy answer while he approached the boy again.

"Okay, okay…" Crypto snorted back. "I won't run around… _Happy now?!_ "

With a calm nod Pox let go of Crypto. "For now…"

"...Until you find _new_ ways to annoy me?"

" _No_ , you little ball of unbridled aggression…" Pox interjected. "Until you've received a _proper introduction_."

Crypto stopped and gave Pox an unbelieving stare. _He was about to teach him something?_ Of course that's what he was _supposed_ to do… For some weird reason though, Crypto had expected Pox to already be fed up with him and 'pass him over' to someone else's supervision.

"We won't have much time until departure. That's no excuse for sloppy work though. You will receive a basic security training and receive Level twelfe clearance. That will do for working your way through non-vital areas of the ship and the databanks. You will receive a personal quarter and an assignment which you'll fulfill just like any other crewmember. As soon as there will be an alert - regardless the level -, or any sort of combat situation, you will stick to your quarters and remain there until I tell you to come out again, understood?"

Crypto casually nodded while following Pox - both figuratively and literally as he hovered down yet another corridor.

"Yeah, understood… So you're keeping me away from all the action?"

Pox tilted his head and gave the boy a dry look. "I suppose that's one way to phrase it, but, yes."

"That sucks…" Was Crypto's obviously disappointed, yet surprisingly polite reply. "...I mean, you can re-clone me, right? You could at least treat me like a recruit or so…"

It was more than obvious that Crypto's constant objections were aggravating to Pox. He nevertheless tried his best to hide it, and not show the boy any potential weakness he could (and - frankly - _would_ ) most likely take advantage of… "I _am_ treating you like a recruit! That's what you _are_ , you imbecile! Not senselessly risking your lives until you're _ready_ is part of your training!"

While he sounded mostly like a grumpy adult who did not hold any trust into the boy's abilities, Pox's reason was actually more complex than that. Back in the days when Shi had been his apprentice, he used to not think twice about having her accompany him - even when she had been young and their missions were dangerous. While Crypto was right that any of them could easily be re-cloned, and Pox himself did in fact clone Shi plenty of times back then, his own observations and conclusions over the last years had started to change his careless outlook on lighthearted cloning... Having seen the constant genetic and physiological degeneration that came with every couple of new Gastro-clones, Pox could only assume this to be the likely far future of all of them… _How many more copies would it take for the same thing to happen to Shi, to him or even to young Crypto?_ He did not want to lean back and find out, although he was certain that one day he would not be able to escape this very subject any longer...

"You'll get your chance to crack craniums and exterminate enemies soon enough - that is if you finally start working _with_ me and not against me!"

Crypto just stared at Pox, but seemed to acknowledge what he said, which led the commander to continue. "...As you may have noticed we are about to depart. We'll be heading for a star system called Tharsis. Have you ever been to another planet?"

Crypto shrugged, then shook his head. "I wish…"

"...Well, you will observe as many of the readings, transmissions and reports as possible. I'll have every feed be accessible to be followed from your quarters. This will be your first task. I want you to pay close attention to what we are doing here, how enforcing peace works like, and how our people and the Tharsians interact."

Crypto half-heartedly nodded. Truth be told, this did not sound like a spectacular objective, but just following the action was still better than having no clue of the action at all… "... _Tharsians?_ Are that… Like… The space monsters?" He asked while walking alongside Pox.

The Commander nodded. "Pretty much. They are the inhabitants of the sixth planet, Tharsis Mons, and their leaders had the bold idea to stop their Decrainyx shipments and announce independence from the Furon empire. Outrageous, isn't it?! A demonstration of power seems… _Appropriate_ …"

Crypto tilted his head and gave Pox a puzzled look. "I'm a warrior, I don't know any politics stuff…"

With a sigh Pox nodded. _And with an attitude like this, the next generation would certainly be doomed…_ "To phrase it in a way you may understand… They won't give us their breaktime snack so we show them who's the boss. Simple enough?"

Crypto eagerly nodded. "And if they still won't share, you're going to kick their asses, right?"

Leaning back in his chair Pox looked at his new crew member. "Well… It's not the primarily desired outcome… After all, no one wants to start a war during the _holidays_ … Not to mention the material loss… It takes _years_ to build a mothership from scratch… But… If no agreement in favour if the Furon Empire can be reached, we might be forced to… _You know_ …"

"What?!" Crypto inquired.

Leaning forward and staring into Crypto's eyes, Pox's grin widened into a devious grimace, and for a moment, the boy was not sure if it was Pox trying to be funny or if he was indeed insane. "...Unleash the undamped cascades of doom and destruction upon the resisting opponents…"

Crypto's grin widened a little and so did Pox's.

The commander awkwardly stopped; surprised about his own satisfaction with the conversation. When he began to slowly move again, he could hear Crypto still following him. It almost felt like a little victory to him to have Crypto not talk back or try to get away for a certain amount of time - although a part of him already felt that this might be just a short-lived enjoyment...

"So…" He eventually spoke to Crypto. "...As for your security training. I trust you know the basic behavioural routines, emergency procedures and how to follow orders?"

The boy took a deep breath. There it was again… That short moment where Pox appeared really cool and then suddenly blew it by treating him like a baby… "Yeah… I do… I spent three years in that academy… Blowing up shit wasn't the _only_ thing I did there..."

"Excellent." Pox began, showing no reaction to the 'blowing up' part. "Say, you pick up a notification indicating a possible hull breach, what do you do?"

" _Duuuuhhh…_ Procedure 117: Smack a forcefield, seal the section and then fix it of course…" The child replied, showing how very under-challenged he felt.

"Wrong!" Was Pox's disenchanting answer, followed by the commander smacking his own forehead. "Weren't you listening, Crypto?! Are you an engineer or experienced in EVA yet?!"

The boy sighed… It seemed like whatever Pox would ask of him, everything would come down to him essentially doing nothing… "No, I'm not…"

"...You'll _report the notification_ of course, but apart from that you'll stay in your your quarters until I tell you to come out again - _Regardless the sort of alert or general situation!_ "

With a slightly discouraged nod, Crypto acknowledged Pox's words, to which the commander continued. "Imagine you pick up an intruder alert, what would you do?"

They boy sighed. Slowly but surely he started to wonder whether Pox was making fun of him, so as a response, his own answer was admittedly more flippant than he originally intended. "Report, lock up my self in my quarters and probably hide under my bed so the space monsters won't find me…"

Pox tilted his head with delight and gave Crypto a pat on the head. "Excellent, you _do_ pay attention at last. Smart thinking to hide!"

The child just stood there, giving his new commander a blank stare while stiffening. Everything about the situation felt unreal to Crypto. _Was Pox actually serious about this?_ _Did he just cheerfully compliment him for playing dumb?_ Still just staring at him, he slowly narrowed his eyes. It probably didn't help either, that Crypto was entirely confused about being patted in the manner of a reward. At the academy, the only reward were grades and achievements, and he wasn't used to particularly friendly or affectionate gestures from his original family either. Eventually though, a little smirk was to be seen on the boy's face.

"When I stay in my quarters and watch your feeds…" He stopped for a second, wondering whether he should continue the sentence. Eventually though, decided to be as open and honest as the moment enabled him to act. In a - until this very moment - to Pox unknown tone, which was the closest thing to a _polite request_ , Crypto eventually added: "...Does this include the saucer too? Those things are amazing!"

Suspiciously raising one (nonexistent) eyebrow, Pox remained quiet for a moment, and Crypto could pretty much watch him pondering whether that was a wise idea or not… "It's usually not part of the standard procedure…" The Commander eventually began, thoughtfully tapping his mouth with his index finger. "...But… If you promise to _behave_ , and it means so much to you… I'm certain we can make alterations…"

Crypto's smile widened, and for the first time he displayed what Pox interpreted as joy. "Thanks! - ... _Sir_!"

With an awkward smirk Pox did an inviting gesture towards Crypto to follow him again. "My pleasure. No need for formalities though. Let's stick to the rules and skip the ranks instead. My name will do quite fine. Now come, we need to prepare for departure."

* * *

A short while later, and after some additional explanations about certain areas of the mothership, as well as how cooperation was handled under Pox, he and the boy arrived in the hangar area. Crypto instantly recalled this place, and his big eyes immediately wandered over towards the two saucers. He wanted to examine them and get aboard, but the prospect of following the saucers via feed later gave him enough motivation to behave and stay at Pox's side.

Next to one of the saucers, Crypto spotted Shi and Gastro, who were loading in some bags and bundles. Suddenly though Shi seemed to sense their presence, stopped and turned around.

"So…" Almost even sadly looking at her, Pox began "...I assume this means farewell?"

With a warm smile she tilted her head. "...I'd prefer a plain 'goodbye'. I mean… You never know, right?"

With a nod he moved a bit closer towards her. "Well, I suppose so. Just take care, and make sure to call us every now and then…"

Crypto narrowed his eyes and looked forth and back between Shi and Pox. _She was about to leave now as they started their adventure?!_ Maybe she wasn't the action-y type… But still, Crypto almost even regretted it, for - after all - she had given him by far the friendliest welcome aboard…

Shi in the meantime had gotten company by Gastro, who quietly wrapped one arm around her - a gesture which she mirrored, before she focused Pox again. "I'll do my best. Would hate to see you guys growing all bored without me. Yeah, I'll miss you guys too… But… It was good to work with you. And… Thanks for… Y'know… Helping us… With the baby…"

Pox slowly nodded. "Anything for an old friend…"

With that being said, Shi gave Pox a proper salute before she hunkered down to Crypto. "Hey there Crypto, why the serious face?"

Looking up to her, he silently sighed. "I… Just thought you'd come with us… You were nice, you know?"

With a chuckle she poked him. "You're nice too, Crypto… But the next couple of months I'll have to be really careful. And Arkvoodle knows when I'll have the chance to get back to spacework, but know what?"

Mildly confused, but trying to follow her nevertheless he shrugged. "What?"

"...My position is vacant now, and I have the feeling, if you pay attention to what the Commander has to say, you might be the right guy to fill the gap, what do you say?"

Crypto replied with a little smirk. "Mm-hm."

"Look after my hubby and Orthopox for me, will ya? Make sure they don't end up strangling one another… _Again_ …"

"Okay…" He quietly replied, then mirrored her salute.

Together, Shi and Gastro now stuffed the last bits of luggage into the saucer before boarding. Pox hovered a little bit closer towards it, and eventually yelled. "Remember we're moving off in _five_ hours, Gastro! You'll better be back by then, or we'll start without you! Would hate to leave that _pretty spacecraft_ here!"

From inside the saucer Gastro was to be seen doing a silly grimace towards Pox, followed by a snarky _"Calm your tiddies, Pox!"_ and a chuckle from Shi, which both could be heard over Pox's communicator. With a resigning sigh Pox demonstratively wrapped his hands around Crypto's head, signaling Gastro to chose his words more wisely when around children…

Gastro however had already started the saucer, and began to slowly move the spacecraft up, through, and out of the hangar's forcefield barrier.

Crypto's eyes attentively followed the blue-ish saucer for as long as he could, until it seemingly became one within the surrounding lights of the fleet yards and eventually vanished on the horizon.


	4. To infinity and beyond!

**C** rypto's new quarters were certainly bigger and more cozy than expected. But then again _what was he expecting to begin with?_ He enjoyed the welcome change of not having to share space with other recruits, and the first thing he did after Orthopox had wished him a good night and left him alone, was to lie down on his new bed, stretch his arms and legs and simply enjoy all of that free ' _Cryptosporidium-only'_ space…

He was a tad disappointed that his quarters were located in the centre of the ship and thus lacking any windows to the outside, but he was no bit surprised. After all, Pox had made it more than clear that he wanted to shelter Crypto from… _Pretty much anything…_ A weird concept the boy still did not grasp, but his disappointment slowly faded, the longer he just quietly laid there and listened to the nearby reactor core's low pitch humming. It was a soothing sound; a sound that almost reminded him of slow music playing in the background to help him fall asleep.

He mused about the handful of friends he had at the academy; about his little sister, and whether any of them would like it here... And the longer he imagined _inviting_ all of them one day, or doing more exploration of the mothership, the more heavy his eyelids became…

* * *

Subconsciously hearing a noise, Crypto suddenly woke up after an indefinite amount of hours, and instantly braced himself: With bared teeth and both of his hands balled into fists he got up and stared at the source of the noise, only to spot Orthopox hovering in with a little smirk, which however faded into a confused expression, once he noticed Crypto's reaction.

"Easy, Crypto… The war hasn't started yet…" He spoke hesitantly, and half-jokingly raised his hands as if he was surrendering to the boy.

Quietly snorting, Crypto lowered his fists and looked at Pox. "What do you want here? I was sleeping!"

Orthopox slowly nodded and tapped his chin with his index finger. "Yes. I see that. You're not much of an early riser I suppose… Anyway… I actually wanted to show you something… Figured you might… Well... _Like_ it…"

Crypto looked up to Pox, slowly crawled out of his bed and stepped into his boots. "...We're gonna blow something up?!"

With a sigh Pox just shook his head, then offered his hand to guide the boy towards yet another new part of the mothership.

* * *

They arrived in a large, brightly illuminated control room. The boy's eyes immediately widened as he looked through place. Multiple holographic displays all around a group of control stations showed countless readings and reports from essential things like status of the vital systems, notification of several other objects within sensor reach or maximum available speed and loading capacity, right down to the position of each life sign aboard or the flashing announcement of an incoming transmission on one of the front displays.

Pox 'parked' and locked his hoverchair right in the middle of the control stations, to have equal access to all of them.

Looking up to him, Crypto followed his moves and tried to understand as many of the readings as possible.

"So…" Pox spoke while setting course and - as far as Crypto was able to interpret the graphics - synchronizing it with several other ships; the ones he spotted on the readings just a second earlier. "...You're still not afraid of brave new worlds and space monsters yet?"

"Do I _look_ afraid?" The boy perkily asked in return, towards which Pox simply nodded and used his psychokinetic abilities, to cautiously lift the boy up and having him sit on his lap. "Press the field to play the transmission, but let _me_ do the _talking_ , understood?"

"Understood." Crypto answered with a bright grin, then did as he was told.

In front of them suddenly the face of an elderly male Furon with blue eyes and a prominent scar across his face was to be seen.

" _...-Nitiating conference. Repeat; This is Admiral Cyclosporiasis calling the armada, preparing for departure in T-4 minutes; Expecting status reports; Initiating conference… NOW"_ Suddenly the faces of several more Furons were displayed, and Crypto already assumed that these were the Commanders of the other motherships.

" _Commander Streptomyces here, all systems are go; already looking forward to get the old lady around the block again!"_ A chubby, dark-skinned male with red eyes and some sort of exotic helmet spoke enthusiastically, followed by a gesture as if he was dancing.

" _This is Commander Babesia, we're ready to go and my clone army is already hoping to get their hands dirty!"_ Was the next report, spoken by a petite female wearing a dark purple uniform and a set of 'mohawk'-like cranial antennae somewhat resembling those of Orthopox.

The next one - a tall and slender male with reflective eyes and accompanied by some sort of robotic creature - did a calm bow, then looked left and right - apparently checking up on his bridge crew. " _Commander Sarcocystosis_ reporting in, all systems are clear and my crew is ready to start."

" _Commander Demodex here, we're ready for action... Can't wait to poke some sweet sweet Tharsian booty again!"_ Was the next status, joyfully thrown out by a small Furon with purple eyes and a huge round head.

" _Dammit, Dex! This is not a cruise!"_ Cyclosporiasis interjected, followed by audible chuckle from most of the other Commanders.

Pox then leaned forward, looking into his camera as well. "This is Commander Orthopox; ship and crew at peak efficiency; awaiting your 'Go', Admiral!"

Cyclosporiasis's smile widened as he folded his hands behind his back. " _Move out. Go, and spread civilization!_ _Good luck, Commanders. Admiral Cyclosporiasis out!"_

With that the projected faces vanished and the standard displays were to be seen again, yet just for a few seconds, before Pox leaned forward and laid the short range sensor readings onto the holo-displays ; _all of them._

Crypto's eyes widened as he suddenly saw a part of the Planet below, the fleet yards nearby, and the surrounding motherships. It felt almost even as if the ship had become transparent (although he of course knew that this was not the case), and he himself hovered weightlessly among them. Slowly the ships began to move forward, including Pox's, and Crypto watched in awe as they were leaving the planet behind and slowly took a triangular formation.

Crypto could feel the warmth in his face rising - _he was smiling!_ The slender recruit was not able to recall having seen anything as impressive as this before… _They were really heading out! He was really going to see another world!_ It felt like a little eternity to him. He didn't even notice that he was still sitting on his Commander's lap like a child. He was… _Simply happy…_

"Orthopox to space armada, preparing for the jump. Stay in the formation everyone..." The Commander activated yet another set of switches, and Crypto could see a small display showing their course, destination and some further readings he did not fully understand yet.

"Activating in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… _Arkvoodle-help-us-all_!"

Everything displayed around Crypto suddenly turned into a brightly illuminated blue and purple vortex. He was still able to see the other motherships, yet the displayed animations became wobbly and glitchy, almost like over-saturated objects with motion blur.

_So they were on their way to the space monsters…_

Thoughtfully - almost even timidly - Crypto turned around and looked at Pox. "Thanks, for… Y'know…. _This here_ …"

Pox smirked and nodded. "Don't mention it. It's field experience."

"Mm-h!" He replied quietly, looking fourth and back between his Commander and the vortex. "So… I know you said I'm supposed to stay in my quarters and all. And… I guess I'm okay with that. Just… What if anything _gets in_ or tries to attack when no one notices?"

Tilting his head in surprise about this question, Pox paused for a moment, then awkwardly put his hands onto the boy's shoulders. "This ship is a remarkable piece of engineering, offering security and protection to it's crew, but… If there's anything coming to attack _my_ crew..." He once again paused, noticeably struggling to choose the right words. "...I will personally hunt it down and make a carpet out of it."

Crypto chuckled, and Orthopox - hesitantly - did the same. "...You're a member of my crew now. That being said… You… _You know…_ ...Have my back, Crypto."

* * *

_Thanks a lot for reading through all of this! Your interest in a sadly mostly dead fandom is very, very appreciated! :)_


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